Retards at work
by AXBHikaruRemastered
Summary: Well you're bored what to do? well this is a story of what Yoh and Zeke do when bored. Read about them fighting hookers. going skydiving and find out who killed your mothers cat. there will be extreme danger extreme fighting and extreme humor?
1. our worst idea yet

Yoh And Zeke's Baby Sitting Service

I don't own Shaman King.

Now this is a screwed up chapter people will date people you never expected and wait this can't be right Anna is a lesbian and so is Tamaoe. I demand to know who wrote this script!

"You did sir and your sister came up with the idea for a baby sitting service" said my assistant Ichigo from bleach.

Oh ya.

"Oh and it turns out that Yoh is dating Pillica" said my assistant Rukia from Bleach.

Ch.1 Babies are little demons from the bowls of hell.

Day:1

It has been 1 month since the shaman tournament and Yoh and Zeke decided since Yoh became shaman king to start a baby-sitting service to kill time since life got boring.

"Zeke" said Yoh.

"What" asked Zeke?

"Why did we take this job again" asked Yoh?

"I think it was so we could kill time or something" said Zeke.

There were five little babies (demons) running around the house.

"When do the parents come back" asked Zeke?

"I think in the morning" said Yoh.

"NNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" yelled Zeke.

"ZEKE SHUSH its only 8:00 p.m. all we have to do now is get them to sleep and take a 9 hour sleep" said Yoh.

"Quick give them this poison we'll say they choked" shouted Zeke pulling out poison.

"Zeke no, no, we don't kill them we put them to sleep and relax and watch porn" said Yoh.

"I still can't believe your fiancé turned out to be a lesbian" said Zeke.

"Yup now she and Tamaoe are dating" said Yoh.

"Ya now I have to find a girl" said Zeke.

"I found a girl" said Yoh.

"Who" asked Zeke?

"Pillica" said Yoh.

"WTF!" said Zeke.

"Weird isn't it" said Yoh.

"Well Yah" said Zeke.

Then a baby started to try to get to one the remotes to the TV.

"Hey stop that" said Yoh running to the baby.

Then one of the babies climb the shelf's and got to the heat adjuster thing and put it on 90 degrees.

"Man its hot" said Zeke.

Yoh tried to adjust it when it blew up.

"Holy shit" said Yoh.

They grabbed the fans and put them in the babies rooms so they could stay cool and put the babies to sleep.

"Okay its hot what do we do" asked Zeke.

"Well we have to be in shorts instead of pants" said Yoh.

After 30 minutes they cut there pants to make shorts and took off their shirts so it wasn't so hot.

"Yoh" said Zeke.

"What" asked Yoh?

"I kind of feel free" said Zeke.

"That's nice" said Yoh.

"Pull out the bed" said Zeke.

Yoh turned the couch into a bed you know its one of those bed like couches were a couch rolls out into a bed.

They both fell asleep on the bed and felt relaxed that the babies (demons) were asleep.

"Night" said Yoh.

"Night" said Zeke.

The next morning…

The mom and dad of the babies entered the house and saw Yoh and Zeke sleeping on the bed without shirts.

"Oh my god gay people did it on our bed" said the mother.

"I knew we should have got the lesbians" said the dad.

Yoh and Zeke woke up.

"Hello" said both.

"You guys are sick" said the mother.

"Oh no quick get me a thermometer" said Yoh in panic.

"Idiot" said Zeke.

"You guys had sex on our bed" said the dad.

"No we didn't" said Yoh.

"Yes you did" said the dad.

"For Pete's sake it was 90 degrees and it was hot so we took of our shirts to stay cool and I even cut these 500 dollar pants just to stay cool" said Zeke.

"Where'd you get 500 hundred dollars" asked Yoh?

"I don't know" said Zeke.

"Just leave" said the mother.

"But" said Yoh.

"Just leave" said the dad.

"Well looks like we don't get paid" said Yoh leaving the house.

"Okay bye" said the dad giving both 100 dollars.

"Those parents were dumb" said Zeke.

"Why do you say that" asked Yoh?

Then the house they baby sat at explodes.

"MWAHAHAHA" laughs Zeke.

End.

Well what do you think not very funny first of all. But what happens when they have to baby sit two 9 year old fan-girls.

It won't be pretty.

Ch.2 True Hell


	2. fan girls uh oh

Yoh And Zeke's Baby Sitting Service.

"I have just received an urgent message I will need all of your attention. So quit what you're doing and listen. Zeke got new underwear and CANNONBALL (Zeke cannonballs into a pool)."

ZEKE GET OUT OF MY HOUSE! I said.

"RUN" yells Zeke.

What an ass. Now more news Zeke and Yoh will be put through hell and Trey becomes Anchorman of the channel 4 news.

"Okay now more good news today I pushed Orhime off a cliff after she raped me" said Ichigo.

"More news my pet cat is gay more at 11:00p.m." said Rukia.

I love having my own news team with Ichigo and Rukia.

I don't own shaman king or bleach.

Ch.2 True Hell.

"WHOOO HOOO" said the now drunk Zeke.

"Zeke Quit pretending you're drunk" said Yoh.

"I don't care I can role play being drunk even with this empty bottle of beer" said Zeke.

After watching a documentary on Ben Franklin and saw the key on the kite get struck by lightning. Yoh sees lightning outside so does Zeke.

"Zeke… get the kite" said Yoh.

"Awesome" said Zeke.

After failing an attempt to get lightning to hit the key Yoh and Zeke decided to go torture Len.

500ft. in the air in a helicopter…

"Come on guys I don't want to die" said Len.

"Shut up" said Yoh shoving him off.

But Trey grabbed Len and didn't let go.

"No I love Len don't kill him" said Trey.

"Okay" said Zeke.

-kick-

"AAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" yelled both falling down.

-Cell phone rings-

"Hello Yoh And Zeke's Baby Sitting Service" said Yoh.

"Yes can you baby sit on Thursday" said a female.

"Sure what time" asked Yoh.

"5:00" said the female.

"Okay bye" said Yoh.

"Yoh it turns out trey had a parachute" said Zeke.

"Oh well we'll back to torture them soon" said Yoh.

"MWAHAHAHA" laughed both.

Thursday night…

"Hello thanks for coming by to baby sit" said the mom.

'oh no she has two daughters' thought both.

Here is what they think of girls.

Girlsfan girls +Yoh and Zeke total hell.

Both girls had hearts for eyes.

"'Zeke prepare for hell'" whispered Yoh to Zeke.

'Man I wish Len was here like last time' thought Zeke.

Flashback

"NO quit chasing me take Len he's in that tree right over there" said Zeke pointing at a tree while running.

"_Zeke you traitor I'll get you for this" said Len falling out of the tree and running for his life._

_So the fan girls went after him._

"Safe to live for another day" said Zeke.

End flashback.

"Well take care I'll be back by 8:00" said the mom exiting and closing the door.

"Hey are you guys fast runners" asked the girls.

"NO not really" said Zeke.

Then a bunch of fan girls appeared out of nowhere in the house.

"Get them" yelled a girl.

"RUN" yelled Yoh!

After an hour and one-half of running…

"Zeke come on your loosing speed" said Yoh still running.

"Yoh I'm to tired go on without me" said Zeke falling on the ground then being jumped by tons of fan girls.

"NO ZEKE" yelled Yoh!

Yoh spotted his houses garden and entered the bushes.

The bushes were in the formation of a maze giving Yoh an advantage of living because he knew the was a hidden passage somewhere.

After an hour of searching he found it and followed it to the outside of the fence.

"I'M FREE" yelled Yoh.

He quickly found Hao's body raped on the ground. He had been raped by fan girls.

He went to the girls home and tied them up to chairs.

"Now you will stay there and be quit" said Yoh.

"Well Zeke you got raped" said Yoh.

Zeke immediately woke up and got dressed.

"Zeke what does U.Y.A. stand for I saw it on your pants" asked Yoh?

"Underwear Yellow Always" said Zeke.

Yoh slowly walked away and left Zeke all by himself.

After that The mom came home paid them both 50 dollars and Yoh and Zeke left and went home.

End.

This one sucked. I hope you people who read this review. Actually my

Sister came up with the idea to make them start a baby-sitting service.

Ch.3 Jun is pregnant.


	3. What the hell

I'm back with vengeance. Not really. Having only a few readers stinks. I need more readers. MORE.

"Sir they choose if they want to read" said Ichigo.

-punch-

Well then I hate them.

"But Ichigo has a point" said rukia.

-punch-

on with the chapter!

I don't own shaman king or bleach.

Ch.3 Jun is pregnant!

It has been exactly one month since Yoh and Zeke baby sat and now Yoh is going sky diving.

"Hey Zeke I'm going skydiving want to come" asked Yoh.

"Hell ya" said Zeke.

"Quick to the pope mobile" said Yoh.

3,000 ft. in the air…

"Okay Zeke the plan is to jump off and see who breaks the most bones" said Yoh.

"Okay" said Zeke.

They jump.

"Oh my god" yells Zeke!

"What is it" asked Yoh?

"We didn't bring parachutes" yells Zeke!

"Cool people don't need parachutes" yells Yoh!

Then fan girls appear out of no where in the sky.

"Oh no" yells both!

"Quick evasive maneuvers" yells Yoh!

"What's that" asks Zeke?

"I don't know" yells Yoh!

cell phone rings.

"Hello" says Zeke.

"Dude check this out Jun is pregnant" says trey on the phone.

"What" says Zeke fainting dropping his cell phone.

Yoh just looks at his body as he falls.

10 seconds later…

"HA HA HA" laughs Yoh at Zeke's lifeless body.

1 hour later…

cell phone rings.

"Hello" answers Yoh.

"Dude Jun is pregnant and the father is Zeke" says trey.

Yoh tries to imagine what the baby would look like.

Yoh is now dead. Well actually unconscious.

1 hour later…

They are both now awake.

"Hey Zeke your gonna be a dad" says Yoh.

Zeke turns to stone.

"Whoa I didn't even know Zeke was a boy" says Yoh.

At Jun's…

Door gets slammed down.

"Jun how the hell did you get pregnant" asked Zeke?

"You helped" said Jun.

"Oh ya" says Zeke.

"How did you find out" asks Zeke.

"Doctor told me" said Jun.

"Why did you go to the doctor" asks Zeke?

"Because we did it" said Jun

"Last off how long have you been pregnant" asks Zeke?

"1 month" answered Jun.

"And you tell us now" asks Zeke.

"Yah" says Jun.

"Okay" says Zeke walking away.

"I'm gonna go see if Anna and Tamoe are doing it" says Yoh.

At Anna's…

"Whoa you can see her boobs" says Yoh.

"This is cool" says Zeke.

Both faint.

End I have nothing to say.

Ch.4 …


	4. Run

I'm back and have news. Today Zeke will find out about poop. Poop.

"Sir I don't think you can do that" says Ichigo.

"Hey did you know if you take the 2 O's off Horohoro you get what sounds like whore" says Rukia.

That's nice on with the chapter.

I don't own shaman king or bleach.

Ch.4…

It was Yoh's first day as a secret agent of the CIA. Common Idiot's Ass. Everything was going smoothly. Yoh was stupid, Zeke was poking dead bodies, and I was writing my story.

Screw dat.

It was a normal day and Yoh was an idiot. Zeke was singing in the shower. And Morty was buying cocaine. Yes they have the most normal lives.

NOT.

"Zeke I see dead people" says Yoh.

"So wait that must mean that I'm dead" says Zeke.

Later…

"Ya I'd like to buy this coffin" says Zeke.

"I'll give you $40 for it" says Zeke.

"Sir it cost $1,000"

"$50" says Zeke.

"Sir"

"$2,000" says Zeke.

"That's twice what it costs"

"$20" says Zeke.

"I'm sorry he doesn't know how to haggle" says Len.

The next day…

"So your saying that if I buy 1 tatter tot I get 2 tatter tot's at half price when I buy this chainsaw sweet, Hey Len they have free tatter tot's" says Zeke to a lady.

"No" says Len.

Later…

It was Zeke's funeral.

-funeral music-

While Zeke is being buried…

"Wait if other people see me then I'm not dead" yelled Zeke in his coffin!

"Oh no he found out" says Len trying to keep the coffin shut.

Zeke managed to escape.

"I LIVE" yells Zeke!

The next day…

"Zeke why the hell did you think that you were dead" asked Yoh.

"You said you see dead people" says Zeke.

"I was faking it" said Yoh.

"Well next time tell me" said Zeke.

"Okay"

the next day…

"Okay I have been hiding from Pillica for days now" says Yoh.

"Yoh get out from under the couch" said Zeke.

"No" said Yoh.

Doorbell rings.

Zeke answers the door.

"Mail for Zeke and Yoh" says a mailman.

"That's us" said Zeke taking the mail.

1 hour later…

Both Yoh and Zeke were just looking at the letter.

"I think we should open it then read it" said Yoh.

They started reading.

"Dear Yoh and Zeke:

We know were you are and we're coming for you.

Signed-

-the fan girls."

"Quick Zeke to the pods" says Yoh.

"That was on an episode of family guy last night but this is real what do we do" said Zeke.

"Oh no then that means" said Yoh looking both ways.

Door gets banged on.

"Oh no there here" said both of them.

The girls came in the house.

"Its them" said all the girls.

Both Yoh and Zeke ran and hid in a closet.

The fan girls banged on it.

Both Yoh and Zeke were so scared they hugged.

"Zeke I don't want to die" cried Yoh!

"Me either" cried Zeke!

"I'm sorry I was the one who tore your jacket" cried Yoh.

"I was the one who lost the dog" cried Zeke.

"I was the one who had the last hamburger" said Yoh.

"Oh when we get out of this closet your going down" said Zeke now P o'd.

Both woke up in the living room.

"It was just a dream" said both Yoh and Zeke.

Door broke down.

"Its them" cried some fan girls.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" cried both!

End

ch.5 north to Mexico


	5. AIRPLANE!

Retards at Work

Well I'm back and have news for my readers. BUNGHOLE Heh Bungholio.

"Sir may I please go take a shit now" asked Ichigo.

Excuse me do I pay you to take shit's?

"Well no sir its just…" said Ichigo.

You shit when I say shit so go take a shit.

"Thank you" said Ichigo.

"You do realize he's gonna run away again" said Rukia.

FUCK!

I don't own shaman king

Ch.5 North to Mexico.

"Today we go to America and take a shit" said Zeke.

"But I want to take a piss" said Yoh.

"Okay then take a piss" said Zeke.

"Sir yes sir" said Yoh.

"That's sounds gay on so many level's" said Zeke.

In America…

"Okay we're here" said Zeke looking at Yoh piss.

"Hey you said I could piss" said Yoh.

'I knew I shouldn't of thought him the word piss" said Zeke.

Flashback…

"Piss" said Zeke.

End flashback…

"Yoh come on we have to leave" said Zeke.

"But I haven't peed all over the dog yet" said Yoh.

"That's JUST GROSS" said Zeke.

The next day…

"Yoh I know what your doing" said a man on the phone.

"Yes and I see what your doing" said Yoh.

"Whoa then you know I'm taking a dump" said the man.

"Hello, hello" said the man.

But Yoh hung up the phone.

The next day…

"Zeke I'm scared" said Yoh.

"Me too I never thought a piece of paper could scare me" said Zeke.

"no I mean the monster behind us ready to scare us" said Yoh.

The next day…

"Yoh today's the day we head north" said Zeke.

"finally we take down those Canadian's" said Yoh.

"Whoa Yoh all we're gonna do is take a wiz" said Zeke.

"But they took flupalupa from me" said Yoh.

"We got rid of him in therapy" yelled Zeke!

"I want flupalupa" cried Yoh.

"Wait you mean he's back" asked Zeke jumping out a window?

"AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" cried Zeke!

"Oh wait flupalupa is dead" yelled Yoh!

"Now ya tell me" yelled Zeke. Still falling from the 500ft building.

"oh ya I forgot you didn't get dressed" yelled Yoh!

Later…

"Yoh why's it so hot" asked Zeke.

"Maybe because of our cloths" said Yoh.

"Oh ya" said Zeke.

"Or maybe its because we're in the desert I don't know" said Yoh.

"Me either" Said Zeke.

Later…

"Look Zeke" said Yoh.

"A Dr. Pepper cola machine finally" said Zeke.

They ran for one minute. Still in the desert.

"Oh man it was a mirage" said Zeke.

"Oh an RC cola machine… just face it we're never gonna get out of this desert" said Yoh disappointed.

They then fell asleep.

1 hour later…

"Zeke wake up we weren't in a desert" said Yoh.

"What we're in a airplane" said Zeke.

"Weird" said both.

End

Short I know but it was all I could come up with.

Ch. 6 I am lord CORNHOLIO!


	6. Crush 40

This is a story about beer, booze and rum

This is the EXTREME FEAR FACTOR

"Whoa, whoa, whoa I thought this was Retards At Work" said Ichigo.

I know I was just trying to… um… wait a minute you're not Ichigo you're some kind of robot version of him.

"How did you know" said Ichigo "I mean… What?"

Rukia the real Ichigo is still out there I know it this Magic 8 Ball tells me so.

"You got that from Wal-Mart" said Rukia.

I know… Quick Rukia to the pods.

"No this time we're taking the jetpacks you remember last time in the pods."

Flashback…

-barf-

end flashback

"So this time it's the jetpacks.

Awesome!

Me no own shaman king or BLEACH

Ch.6 CORNHOLIO!

"Zeke I have come for you" said a voice.

"Who's there… grandma, Elvis… Scorpion?" asked Zeke.

"No it is I, I am your mother" said Zeke's mom coming into picture.

"You… I thought I got rid of you" said Zeke.

"Well apparently when you threw me in a trashcan mail me to America then put a hand grenade in the trashcan and it exploded you forgot one thing I was in America at the time" said his mom

"Wow then who'd I kill" asked Zeke.

"My twin" said his mom.

"Wow I was off" said Zeke.

"I know I mean it was like **whistles**" said his mom.

The next day…

"Zeke it is I the Yohman" said Yoh in a batman costume.

"What… The… Fuck…" said Zeke.

"Oh that's low" said Yoh.

"What was" asked Zeke.

Later…

I want to say thank you America for… SPRING BREAK" said Zeke stripping in front of the president.

The next day Zeke was put in jail and then Yoh bailed him out to get the 50 dollars Zeke owed him from the time they went to HOOTERS.

The next day…

-barf-

"Yoh… WHY DID YOU BARF ON ME" yelled Zeke!

"Sorry Zeke I gotta get the taste of Hooker spit out of my mouth" said Yoh

Then my friend Trey appeared from real life.

"This barf is white, interesting… I shall look into this… TO ALASKA" Trey (real life) yelled.

Then I came in…

"Trey I told you not to come in until I told you to" I said.

"Well ya but the barf…" –PUNCH-

Then I dragged Trey's (real life) body outside.

"Okay that was weird…" said Zeke

"…" said Yoh.

"Lets watch porn" said Yoh.

"AWESOME"! said Zeke.

The next day…

"Okay Yoh we go left or right" said Zeke.

"Man this is tough" said Yoh.

"I know if we go right we live and if we go left we die…" said Zeke.

"THIS IS HARD" said Yoh.

Later…

"FUCK" I said.

"What now" asked Rukia.

"We've seem to interrupted the ending of my story were Yoh and Zeke get molested by cats" I said.

"Its okay hopefully the readers will forgive you" said Rukia.

"Yes hopefully… but we still must find Ichigo quick Rukia I know the ultimate way to find him" I said.

"What" she asked.

"We'll hold the President hostage" I said.

"No its to obvious" she said.

End…

Ch.7 something, something, Fart something


	7. Agathis table board 10D 8900

R

Re

Ret

Reta

Retar

Retard

Retards

Retards a

Retards at

Retards at w

Retards at wo

Retards at wor

Retards at work

Retards at work.

Retards at work..

Retards at work…

"Um sir why did it take you so long to type Retards at work" asked Rukia.

Well that's the title of the story… and I wrote it.

"Well yes air but"

No speaky unless the man speaky to you

"Um okay… so where does your com. Say Ichigo is" asked Rukia.

It says he's at… no this can't be…

"Where is he" asked rukia.

He's at a GO SALON!

Chapter 7. something, something, fart something, something,

"WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!" yelled Zeke.

Lots of people could be seen running in Tokyo while it was being engulfed in flames.

-freeze screen-

Some of you may be wondering what a weird opening or wow that was unexpected but to find out what happened we'll have to go back in time.

30 seconds earlier…

"Zeke don't push that button if you do a giant robot will attack and destroy Tokyo." Said a man.

Zeke pushes button.

"We're all gonna die" yelled the man.

**Robot zaps man**

"Oh shit" says Zeke.

Zeke looked up at the robot but it was actually an evangelion.

"WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE" yelled Zeke.

But then some how the Japanese rock band ORANGE RANGE came to kick some but and beet up the evangelion with kick ass music.

The next day…

Zeke was watching TV when suddenly my friend Trey (real life) popped out of a box close by.

"GOTCHA HOE" yelled Trey (rl)

Zeke was too amused with the TV to care about some guy who had diabetes.

That's when a health and magic meter appeared below him.

A weird high tech panel appeared before Trey clicked on a certain spot.

"YOU'RE MINE NOW" yelled Trey (rl)

Trey shot a blast of flames at Zeke but Zeke moved out of the way and hit Yoh after he walked in with what looked like a bottle of Sam Adams (always a good decision).

"OMGI'MONFIRE" yelled Yoh.

"Crappy ATP system" Trey (rl) said.

That's when I walked in.

Trey you may need this.

"What is it" asked Trey.

Behold its my own **_Bastard Sword._**

"Umm okay I'm just gonna forget this ever happened" Trey (rl) said.

Then I left.

Then a van crashed through the wall and Peter, Cleveland, Joe, and Quagmire from family guy popped out of the van.

"Who the hell are you" asked Trey totally forgetting about Yoh and Zeke.

"We're the A team" they said.

Then they started doing their own little cheer and froze.

"Get out" yelled Trey

"Ya that's probably a good idea" they said leaving.

2 seconds later…

A van crashed through the wall.

"We're the B team" said people popping out of the van.

"That's it" yelled Trey hacking away at their bodies being very sure to kill them.

After 5 hours of hacking away at the B-Z team.

"Finally I've killed every team from B-Z no more letters of the alphabet" Trey said.

Van crashes through the wall…

"We're the AA team" said the people popping out.

"SCREW THIS! I'm going to burger king" Trey said.

"Can I come" asked Zeke.

"…Hell no!"

the next day…

"Zeke I'm looking into your future and there will be women" said Yoh.

"Tell me more about my future dear tooth fairy" said Zeke.

"Ya never call me that again" said Yoh leaving.

The next day…

The next day…

-barf-

The next day…

"Check mate" said Yoh

"No this game isn't over I'm gonna finish this in space" said Zeke getting into one of his pods and going into space.

Two days later in space…

Zeke's pod was slowly drifting through space when he saw an **astronaut** look at him.

"Huston we have another problem" said the astronaut.

"Don't tell me its another pod" said the man on the receiver.

Meanwhile in Zeke's pod…

He noticed he was surrounded in pods.

"Wow its like a city here in space" said Zeke opening his pod.

Zeke was pulled into space with no oxygen but he was so retarded he didn't need oxygen in space and just drifted through space.

The next day…

They found Zeke's body in the Atlantic Ocean and most of him was burnt because he was being pulled down by Earths gravity pull.

End.

THAT STUNK… about 75 percent of this or the time from the TV to the AA team was my friend Trey's idea. So yaaa…

Ch.8 cats vs. dogs vs. Jim carry vs. Inuyasha vs. Retards vs. Yoh and Zeke.


	8. stupid matches

Retards at work ch. 8 has been canceled do to both of them being stupid. NOT! If they weren't stupid then we wouldn't have our story Retards at Work now would we. No we wouldn't

(that's when a shining gold rock came falling from they sky and I was in an airplane above water… lucky me)

"Umm sir what are you doing" asked Rukia.

I'm going after that rock made of gold.

"Umm is that a good idea" asked Rukia.

Why ya gotta break falls… here hold my glasses in never go swimming with them on.

"Umm okay then" said Rukia.

At the bottom of the ocean…

WTF! It wasn't gold after all it was just a bunny.

(I swam to the surface but little did I know behind me there was the gold rock)

in the plane…

Rukia next time tell me not to jump.

I don't own Shaman king or BLEACH

Ch.8 cats vs. dogs vs. Jim carry vs. Inuyasha vs. retards vs. Yoh and Zeke.

In this story my friend Trey (rl) will not be in this chapter because he won a trip to visit Linkin Park. Not in real life in the chapter… duh.

"I CHALLENGE YOU TO MORTAL KOMBAT!" said Zeke to Yoh.

"No, no this is crazy we should hold a tournament" said Yoh.

"Okay don't know where that came from but sounds good to me…" said Zeke.

The next day…

"Zeke this tournament sure attracted a lot of people even though we only got a couple of people to come" said Yoh.

ROUND 1

INUYASHA

VS.

CAT

Inuyasha immediately started to growl and started barking at the cat chasing him around in circles and well Inuyasha lost because of heart failure and he lost a kidney from running in an unusual position for a while.

ROUND 2

YOH AND ZEKE

VS.

RETARDS

"They look just like us" said Yoh and Zeke looking at their enemies a.k.a. mirrors.

Then my friend Trey came crashing through the ceiling.

Trey why are on the tournament grounds.

"Well funny story"

flashback…

Trey was in a plane ready to go skydiving and jumped crashing through the ceiling

End flashback…

"And that's where we are now" Trey said.

Trey I thought you won a trip to go with Linkin Park not go skydiving…

Then the guys from Linkin Park came crashing through the ceiling.

The next day…

"Welcome to the finals of the semi-finals" said the host then being hit by chairs that were thrown by him.

"Okay well today's matches are Jim Carry VS. Inuyasha and Yoh and Zeke VS. Dogs.

ROUND 1

Jim Carry and Inuyasha just stood there looking at each other when Jim Carry said something so funny Inuyasha lost his laugh box and lots his testiclles.

Round 2

Yoh and Zeke just kicked the dogs pissing them off making Yoh and Zeke get covered in piss.

FINAL ROUND

Yoh and Zeke VS. Jim Carry.

(Western showdown music)

-- --

--

Those were the faces they made.

Next thing ya know they were in cowboy outfits.

They grabbed their guns and fired.

-Smoke clear up-

Jim Carry was dead and Yoh and Zeke were playing patty cake with each other.

It turns out Jim Carry died of a heart attack.

Everyone's faces were like OO

Meanwhile with Trey (rl) and Linkin Park.

They started shooting a new movie called

Linkin Park In The Park

So guys in this scene you guys get attacked by ninja's sent from the king China.

The guys faces were like Oo

END

Ch.9 Trey and Linkin Park something(I forget what it was called)

No really I forgot what it was originally called


	9. this sucks

**Hello I have begun to start writing some new fanfiction just for you guys. I have listed the stories and the anime series. But they won't be out until 2006. so yaa… read the list.**

**Ed Loveless. (Full Metal Alchemist) romance/action/adventure**

**Naruto goes Harry Potter. (Naruto) humor/fantasy**

**Daisuke and the Princess of Torodai. (D N Angel) romance**

**Warrior (Hikaru No Go) romance/humor**

**You're Joking Please Tell Me you're Joking 2 I Don't Wanna Die (shaman King) humor/parody**

And already out

**Vordurckly destroyed (Ragnarok Online) action/adventure/mystery**

**Assassin X Princess (Inuyasha) romance/ (something)**

And Christmas special

**Christmas gone wild (Ragnarok Online) humor/parody**

**I hope you read and enjoy those fanfictions. But for now read this chapter.**

**Fuck Off!**

"**Okay all of that ya that's just kind of a notice" I said.**

"But you informed them of some new stories you're making and what's this on you computer" said Rukia.

"Its nothing"

"Hmm… seems you forgot to mention one story" said Rukia.

"Shh… that's not supposed to come out till February" I said.

"Lets just tell them the title…" said Rukia

**Punch**

Okay on with the chapter.

Then I pushed her out the airplane.

**Ch. 9 Linkin Park Behind the Park.**

"**Okay I have a diaper, a pencil, a toy train, and this DVD of Alf lets Rock" said a guy from Linkin Park.**

**Oh ya I forgot I don't own Shaman king or Linkin park.**

**Meanwhile with Trey…**

"**Yoh, Zeke what are you guys doing here" said Trey.**

"**Umm… we don't know it was all like a weird hazy blur" said Yoh.**

"I hate you idiots" said Trey (rl)

"Well if you hate us so much why don't you marry Barf!" said Yoh.

"Umm… Yoh I think you mean if you hate us so much why don't you call the FBI on us" said Zeke.

"That's not a bad Idea" said Trey taking out his cell phone he went 10 years into the future to get after he got a time machine for his birthday.

"NOW LEAVE!" yelled Trey.

"But…"

"Leave! I have to get ready to make my entrance in the movie… I'm playing the assassin Linkin Park sent to kill Green Day since they're in the battle of the bands contest in the movie" said Trey (rl).

2 hours later…

"CUT! That's a rap now lets get this movie put together" said the Director.

"THAT'S IT!" yelled Trey. "I thought it would be longer!"

"Well It would have been if those two idiots hadn't eaten the rest of the empty film" said the Producer.

"I demand we make it longer" said Trey.

"Can't help you there" said The Linkin Park Band all together.

. The Next day…

"Zeke I can see the light at the End of a tunnel" said Yoh.

"Good head towards the light" said Zeke.

"No I can't" said Yoh.

"But you have to. it's the only way" said Zeke.

"But its running away from me" said Yoh.

"Well turn on your turbo boosters" said Zeke.

"I'm trying but its still get farther away" said Yoh.

"I told you we could have bought an SUV instead of a horse with rockets" said Zeke.

"But we were low on cash" said Yoh.

"Yoh… WE'VE NEVER HAD ANY CASH!" said Zeke.

"Then how come I could afford this gun" said Yoh.

Zeke was shocked Yoh bought a gun bet even worse… Yoh learned the word GUN.

So Yoh and Zeke hit a wall broke free of that long tunnel and their horse exploded and its ashes formed the word Bi-Sexual.

The next day investigators found out the horse was really a yeti and Pillica was Pregnant.

Wait for it… And… GO!

**Dun, Dun, Dun…**

**1-800-SAVE-AUTO**

Pick up the phone and call in free 1-800- SAVE AUTO.

Sang Yoh, Zeke, Jesus (no offense to Jesus), Jim Carry's soul, Inuyasha, Naraku, Yugi, Jaden, Colette, a Yeti, Joe, Peter Griffin, and the AAA team.

And that's how chapter 10 started.

Ch. 10 something gone gay.

HA HA!


	10. something gone gay

Hello readers… I've been playing my new video games like

Fable, Sonic Heroes, Zatch Bell Momodo battles, Pokemon XD, Tony Hawk Pro Skater 4, The Scorpion King, King Kong, and much more.

"Sir I don't think its necessary for you to tell to people about your video games" said Rukia.

Um... Lets just find Ichigo okay. –Lays gun on table-

"I'll be quiet now" said Rukia.

-EMERGENCY, EMERGENCY, Left Plane Wing Has been Severally Damaged EMERGANCY-

Oh Shit.

"Come On guys we have to leave" said our pilot Train from Japan's BLACK CAT.

You hired a Bounty Hunter for our pilot.

"It was him or Ponygon (a.k.a. Schneider)" said Rukia.

Never mind lets jump.

We jumped off the plane and Landed in America.

"Okay According to my readings we went from Japan to America. Well I guess I should watch some more Store Wars.

Oo

Ch. 10 something gone gay.

"Yoh how come whatever we do we always end up back home" said Zeke.

"Don't Talk like that after all the president must be Annihilated" said Yoh.

2 hours later…

"Yoh go on without me" said Zeke.

"No Zeke we can still escape, as long as we stick together we'll be safe" said Yoh.

"No I can't" said Zeke fainting.

"Zeke, ZEKE, NNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" yelled Yoh.

END

"That Movie was good" said the audience.

"Aw we're Movie Stars now" said Yoh.

"Ya but now we'll be even more attractive to the girls and that's bad news for us" said Zeke.

"Zeke Before this day ends we'll have to find an apartment here in Hollywood" said Yoh.

"You're right therefore we must Become Hobo's with no cash or money" said Zeke.

"Okay now you're just being stupid" said Yoh.

"We have to think of something else" said Zeke.

The next day…

Yoh and Zeke became Hobo's for the day and since they were in Japan things got weird.

First Godzilla attacked and destroyed his Wang.

Second Yoh and Zeke Flashed a lady.

Third I wouldn't shut up.

Fourth you mom got really fat.

Fifth I continued talking.

Sixth I gave my friend my phone number.

And finally I watched Yoh and Zeke watch Drake and Josh?.

Okay that took up some space.

DUN, DUN, DUN!

Then Zatch from Zatch Bell started to choke me.

The next day…

WAIT YOH AND ZEKE FLASHED A LADY!

"Yoh and Zeke were watching the Sci Fi channel and were intrigued that TV existed in this century.

"Zeke why are there people in that box" asked Yoh.

"I don't know but it scares me" said Zeke.

"Hey lets watch Cats kill themselves on TV!" said Yoh.

"GOOD IDEA"!

Then they died of an explosion that was caused by the president.

Ch.11. The Final Chapter.

I will be so sad at that time.


	11. Zeke is an idiot

Date chapter written 1-3-06 

HELLO! And welcome to Retards at work ch.11 I think.

NOT THE FINAL CHAPTER! I made it up to get you all upset and here's a song Rukia and me will sing for you. (Switches stupid voice to good opera singing voice) (I really can do that)

And…… GO!

This s a special moment right now,  
We'd like to take this time to tell all the kids at home,  
Send your parents out of the room this is a kid's song.  
Life's gonna suck when you grow up,  
When you grow up, when you grow up  
Life's gonna suck when you grow up,  
It sucks pretty bad right now.

Hey! If you know the words, Sing along!

You're gonna hafta mow the lawn,  
Do the dishes, make your bed.  
You're gonna hafta go to school until you're seven-teen.  
It's gonna seem about three times as long as that 

You might have to go to war, shoot a gun, kill a nun.  
You might have to go to war, when you get out of school.  
Hey cheer up kids, it gets a lot worse.

You're gonna hafta deal with stress  
Deal with stress, deal with stress.  
You're gonna be a giant mess  
When you get back from the war.

Santa Clause does not exist, and there's no Easter Bunny,  
You'll find out when you grow up, that Big Bird isn't funny.  
(funny, funny, hahahahaha!)

Life's gonna suck when you grow up,  
When you grow up, when you grow up  
Life's gonna suck when you grow up,  
It sucks pretty bad right now.

You're gonna end up smoking crack, on your back, face the fact.  
You're gonna end up hooked on smack, and then you're gonna die.

And then you're gonna die-ie-ie-ie-ie.

Ch.11 Ship in an ass.

"Zeke its time to go kill my dog skipper as he skips over china's great wall while baking brownies with his butt and shooting babies as he's milking a goat" said Yoh.

"That seems easy enough" said Zeke.

The next day…

Somehow with Naruto?

"Wow its like Michael Jackson's coming right at me" said Naruto.

Micheal Jackson then snagged Naruto after he came out the 3-D movie.

"Finally they're all gone" said Sasuke.

**Giant fart**

By Sasuke.

Oh ya I don't own Naruto, Bleach, or Shaman King.

Back with Yoh and Zeke.

"Life's Gonna Suck When You Grow Up, You Grow Up, You Grow Up," sang Yoh and Zeke to a bunch of 5 year olds.

"WWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" cried the little kids.

"SHUT UP!" yelled Zeke.

Then Yoh and Zeke got kicked out of the classroom of kinder gardeners and could never return again

"Zeke I think we got expelled from the school" said Yoh

"I just made poopy" said Zeke.

Yoh walked away slowly… then he went to war and killed a nun.

The next day…

It was Yoh's birthday and Yoh was cutting the cake even though its Zeke's too but he's in Hawaii.

He slowly cut the cake when(with dramatic tension) (oh ya the cake I around 6 feet tall and 3 feet wide).

And then ¾ of the way down the cake.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" yelled a stripper popping out of the cake.

"Aw man… coconut cake" said Yoh.

The next day…

Yoh was entering his closet and he fell through and saw a man with a horse's legs.

"I'm Dick and welcome to the world of Narnia" said Dick

"Give me my coat ya goat bastard" said Yoh.

The Goat ran away and Yoh got frozen but then his pee melted the ice and Narnia was no longer frozen in ice. From then on Yoh was a hero and they all learned to learn, live, and worship pee.

The next day…

"I want a pony!" yelled Zeke.

The following week…

"And when you die you go to a beautiful place called heaven… NAH! I'm just joking ya rot in the ground (its true) (and I'm a what'cha mechalem people who believe in God)" said Yoh.

"WWWAAAHHH!" cried kids from the daycare center.

Then they got kicked out of the school…

To Be Continued?

Next chapter is the final one but look at the bottom and there will be good news maybe its about a sequel maybe its about another fic like it.


	12. …………………………

/#/ (Retards At Work) #

/FINALE

I can't believe that this is the last chapter of Retards at Work.

"I know and we still haven't found Ichigo" said Rukia.

Well that leads me to my next point, for those of you who want to see what happens after this chapter with me Rukia and Ichigo then look in the anime BLEACH section for a fic called ESCAPE! And find out what happens.

FINAL CHAPTER

/#/ )Yoh and Zeke's last prank( #

"Well Yoh its appears that we've run out of ideas but none the less this is the last chapter" said Zeke.

"I can't believe the series is finally over!" cried Yoh.

We promise that we will not fail you on this last chapter readers.

START!

"Yoh we have only one option left in this situation" said Zeke.

"I know" said Yoh they were both acting like hard cold agents on a secret mission.

"HELP! HELP US HELP!" cried both of them hanging over a pit full of babies.

The next day…

"Zeke I just wanted to tell you that if you play that card we'll loose, so I suggest you play it" said the devil.

Then Jesus came in and killed that bastard.

"Ya take that ya mother fucking asshole-

10 hours later…

-and if you ever bring your ugly fat ass back up her on earth I'll have god kick your ass" said Jesus.

No offense to god or Jesus DON'T HURT ME!

The next day…

LAST TIME ON THE BRADY BUNCH.

"GO TO YOUR FUCKING ROOM!" yelled the dad.

Yoh and Zeke just stared at the screen with shocked faces when the AA team came in.

"Oh crap I think we're in the wrong show" said Peter Griffin.

"Okay what the hell is peter griffin doing with the AA team" yelled Ichigo.

"THERE HE IS GET HIM!" Yelled Rukia's voice from off the screen.

And we ran past Yoh and Zeke and the AA team chasing Ichigo.

"Okay that was weird" said Zeke.

Then Yoh collapsed and everyone just looked at him.

"He's dead" said Zeke.

"No he's not he'll be okay probably come back and follow in my footsteps" said Peter.

Then Zeke shot Peter in the arm.

"WHO SAID YOU COULD TALK!" yelled Zeke.

The next day…

"HE-

Next day…

"Aww" said Zeke after we cut him off.

"well looks like the cause of death was this plastic penis in her hole" said a police officer.

"You mean it was in her-?"

"Yup in her ear, apparently it caused tone defense and killed her"

"This has nothing to do with this fic!" said Yoh.

The next day…

"And if you behave I'll make sure that Santa doesn't shove a pinecone up your ass" said Zeke.

"WAH!" cried the kids.

The teacher was mad at Zeke.

"What I was just telling them what Santa did to me last Christmas" said Zeke.

"To my office!"

"NNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" cried Zeke ripping the ground as the teacher pulled him into the other room.

The next day…

"Uh Zeke I have some bad news" said Yoh.

"Oh god you shit your pants watching Barney again!" said Zeke.

"No worse" said Yoh.

"You don't mean the red alert" said Zeke.

"Yup" said Zeke.

"NNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I don't wanna baby-sit again!" said Zeke.

"Well it was your job to take down the fliers" said Yoh.

"Oh fine.

After they babysat…

"That was easy all we did was sleep" said Zeke.

"Ya its like they just died" said Yoh.

As they left the parents were yelling about how their child was dead.

END

Alright now that that's done if you wait until April I'll have a fic up called

Yoh And Zeke Into The Retard Zone Again

Hope you look forward to it.


End file.
